The Inadvertent “F” Bombs “R-rated”

I was a sailor! Nuff said, well not really.

I’m a chameleon kinda. In other words, I can adapt to many situations and conversations. My goal in these situations and conversations has always been to RESPECT the most conservative person in these situations, never wanting to offend anyone on purpose. This brings me to (as far as I remember) the two times I dropped an “F” bomb inadvertently and accidentally causing me great embarrassment to myself in the process.

Don’t Drop the “F” Bomb in Front of Mom

The first time (and actually MOST embarrassing) was in front of my Mom about 1982 or 1983. I literally could have climbed under a rock when I said it…and almost did climb under a rock. If you remember, Mom was always GREAT at listening to her “boy’s problems”…and in this case, it was one of my problems with a girlfriend.

I was living in Blytheville at the time and my “sanctuary” was always going to Mom’s in Searcy, AR where I didn’t know anyone. Now remember, I also didn’t like drinking in front of Mom, but in this case, I stopped at a liquor store on the way over to her house and picked up a 6 pack of beer. I put it in her refrigerator and that night while we were watching a movie in the living room…I went and got a beer and drank it. Later, I went and got another and then the movie finished. I began to tell Mom about my “girlfriend” troubles and some of the things going on in the relationship. And although Mom mostly listened. I was guzzling my second can of beer when she asked me some sort of question and my reply to her was (and I remember it pretty vividly), “Mom, I don’t know what the “FxxK” she was doing”!.

As soon as I said it… I began to shrink in my seat. Mom didn’t say a word. I took the rest of the beer I had to the kitchen and poured it into the sink. I was embarrassed what I had said, and I was DONE with drankin’ beer in front of Mom. I mighta cussed in front of her again, but I never disrespected her by using the “F” word in front of her ever again.

 

My Second Offense (Literally)

I was a laboratory manager at one of the hospitals that I worked at in 1995. I had never managed before and I wanted to really do a good job and make all the right decisions (well, that didn’t always work out)….

But I had this one employee that HABITUALLY late. Something that is a pet peeve of mine during my working days…I hate people that are habitually late!!! Just hate’em!! So I had this tech was always late, and I finally made the remark to some of the other techs that the next time she was late, I was gonna do something about it. I think I told them that for two reasons, one was a warning to them to follow the rules and the other…I think was to psychologically back, myself into a corner where I had to do something…neither of which worked out. LOL

Anyway, this tech comes in late, and I do nothing. I was mad at the TECH for putting me in a bad position of having to do something and at MYSELF because I was backing down. I was SEETHING at myself to say the least. And while I was sitting at my desk..wondering what I was gonna do, and mad because I had done NOTHING, another one of my techs came back to my desk and began to make fun of me because I was wimping out!! It got to me, I wasn’t really mad at the tech for making fun of me (I’m pretty good at self deprecation), but I was just mad!!

I looked at this tech making fun of me (she meant nothing by her joking), and very tensely told her that she had better, “Turn the “F” around and getta outta my face”. She immediately stopped smiling, turned around and left. I sat there mad as hell…at ME. Not the girl that was late, and definitely NOT the girl that was joking at me. But I was mad as hell at ME!!! About 30 minutes later, the joking tech came back to my office to apologize. She said she was sorry, and I told her that was OK, that I was sorry too…but lets just leave it alone for now. I later apologized again…mostly because I don’t lose my cool very often.

So what happened to the girl that was habitually late. Well, lets just say that when I changed her shift in an effort to “help” her make it to work on time…she quit, and it made my life as a Lab Manager, MUCH EASIER.

Author: Wally

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