NOTE: if you offended by graphic talk, skip this story.
I love telling the story of my first day in Navy boot camp. It was both terrifying and funny as hell.
We arrived by bus at the base about midnight or so, and these really nice Navy guys were perfect gentleman…till we hit the base gate. The doors of the bus busted open quickly and in busted this guy that started yelling and cursing at us. It got quiet really quick. He read us the riot act about being noisy, then he continued to berate us the entire time they marched us to these old wooden barracks with a bunch of bunks with little 2″ mattresses. We were told go to bed because we would be woke up early.
So the next morning about 4am the loudest and annoying sounds resonated in the barracks. Our company commander began taking a billy club and striking every bunk as he walked by it. I was, like most of the other guys…SHELLSHOCKED. What the hell had we done? So here we were, a bunch of young 18-20 year olds, still sleepy, scared and unsure of what was next. They gathered us into a group and made us sit on the floor (deck) while the company commander introduced himself. He said his name was HM1 Hambrick, but we later came to know him as “bluebeard”, and he was an asshole.
He started the conversation with his new recruits by telling us that if we had any intention of killing ourself or committing suicide by slicing our wrists to please do it the right way. He said, “Don’t cut across your wrists, if you want to do this right, be sure and cut lengthwise down wrists so you will really bleed to death”. I remember thinking this was not gonna be a fun party.
He then broke into a joke for everyone. Basically it was about Marines and Navy personnel, and when he got done with the joke everyone laughed, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that didn’t get the joke, or did not think it was funny. But I laughed my ass off anyway. Then he proceeded to tell us Navy guys in the most crude terms how to correctly …uhmmm lets say perform oral sex on a woman. YEP, he did.
So this first day was all about staying in this one room, and then small meetings every couple of hours. But when we werent being talked to, most of us just sat on the floor with our backs against the wall, some of us were talking and others napping. I had remembered my older brother telling me about putting shaving cream in someones hand and then tickling their nose. I got my little can of shaving cream (not that I needed shaving cream at my young age), and squirted some in the hand of one of the guys (a guy named Titus…who we called Tight Ass)…and he never woke up. So I started tickling his nose and sure enough and right on cue, he quickly raises his hand up to his face and proceeded to smear shaving cream all over his face. When he woke up, he was PISSED. He made eye contact with me and then proceeded chasing me all over that damn room…but never caught me. Luckily, once he finally woke up enough, he settled down and wasn’t as mad.
At some point later that day, some other Navy personnel came in and set up a table. On this table was a couple of vials of medicine, and a couple of hypodermic syringes and needles, and 2 alcohol burners with tall wicks. The lined us up and two at time would go up to the table, hold our arm out and then corpsman would give us a TB skin test, then they would run the needle across the alcohol flame and be ready for the next recruit. When it came my turn (I HATE shots by the way), I stuck my arm out, he injected me and I turned to go back and sit down. I took about 3 steps…and then I started feeling faint. I couldn’t let these guys see a pussy in the presence, and I knew I had to do something to keep from fainting. I leaned down, untied my shoe, and then tied it back, and repeated that a few times till I got over the feeling of blacking out.
So that was my first day in boot camp. I would assume that anyone else that went through boot camp had many similar experiences.